Amy Ruttan

I got this joke in my email and I thought it was quite humorous.

 THE NEW PRIEST

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous on  the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.” So next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a
storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:
 

1. Sip the Vodka, don’t gulp.
 
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.

 3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

 5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

 6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.

8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.

9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don’t say he was stoned off his ass.

10. We do not refer to the cross as the “Big T”.

11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, “Take this and eat it for it is my body.” He did not say “Eat me.”

12. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God.

13. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St.Peter’s, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy’s.

I’ve been quiet, I was away from the computer a bit. Lots of things happening, inlcuding a new release for me in about 6 days (July 7, 2010). I’m trying to get a whirlwind social calendar in place, and dealing with a child who is already ‘bored’ since school ended.

 I have some exciting things lined up, a couple of guests who will be visiting my blog, and during my sojourn away from the internet land my Spam box held a surprise in the form of a request for a full from my 2009 NaNo. WOOT! So I’ll be spending today getting that ready to send out.

I’ve also been reading some hot hot books. I got to read a Vivian Arend book before she subbed it in to her editor, an Anya Richards hot Regency sequel and the much anticipated Christine d’Abo’s Letter of Marque. YES she’s finished it and I read it in one sitting. That good.

 I’ll be back. Right now I have to get that full ready and make a lasagna for my DH who is one year old today. Yeah my late June early July is full of birthdays. It’s never ending. LOL!

 How are you guys doing?

The plot monkeys visited me last night, and they hit me hard. Demanding I write, what might be the hardest thing I have ever attempted to write. Needless to say I’ll be writing in between other projects to rest my poor mind, but I am kind of excited about it.

Now, for a contest. As you know I’m over at Coffee Time Romance for the Reader’s Retreat, on June 19th I’ll be talking about my hobbies in the June Jubilee and I have an author corner over there.

Here’s the fun contest I’m having over there:

This will run the whole month of June. You have until June 30th to answer these fun scavenger hunt questions (you didn’t think it would be easy did you?).

The answers can be found on my website here.

Email me at contact@amyruttan.com with the answers and I’ll choose a random winner on June 30th and post the winner on my website and Twitter. When you email put CTR AR Scavenger Hunt in Re: line so you don’t get lost in spam.

My twitter account is http://www.twitter.com/ruttanamy

I’ll choose 3 random winners, with your choice of an ebook from my backlist.

Here are the questions:

1. What is the name of the plantation in Masque of Desire?

2. Who was Fox’s Bride? (Hint name of heroine).

3. What kind of stone was T’Koh the Rain God found in?

4. What was the name of the resort Pallator Sinclair owned in Hard Candy?

5. What was the name of the neighbor David was in love with?

Now, on with plotting that crazy project. Eep.

*Waving* Hello!

 Yeah I’m heading back into the cave. I have some editing to do, some critiquing to do and I’m getting ready for my entire family to descend on my house this weekend.

 If I’m a good girl and get all my work done I’ll indulge in an ebook or two over at Carina Press. It’s my reward.

 Don’t forget to visit over at Coffee Time Romance in the Reader’s Retreat, I’m holding a contest on my thread there. It runs to the end of June.

How are you all doing?

Yeah, I’ve been absent again. I’ve been the organizer for the Ellora’s Cave and Cerridwen Press authors for the Coffee Time Romance Reader’s Retreat. It’s a month of fun, excerpts, contests with 30+ EC and CP authors … including me.

So come and drop by for the party.

 I’m going to pass out now. LOL!

I’m at Christine d’Abo’s blog today celebrating her ten for ten plus one. There’s a chance to win one of my EC books.

It’s been a crazy few days since my last blog post. I finished the last of around 1000 dictated medical reports this week and I’ve been prepping for the CRAZY 8 hour exam this weekend. If I get 85% on my objective and 85% on the transcription part I will be a full fledged medical transcriptionist. It’s a way to earn some extra moula at home. Diapers are NOT cheap, plus we have some home renos we would like to accomplish. I also find transcribing allows me to plot, I seem to daydream when I’m listening to dictation. In my EDJ I was a legal assistant and dealt with this daily.

I’ve also been scheduling guest blogs etc and getting my marketing in order for my upcoming re-release of my series this year.

On the writing front I’m rewriting a middle portion of my 1920’s romance to get it ready to sub, and I’m also busy finishing the 1st draft of my gladiator erotica.

In between all of that I’ve been chasing after James who turned 10 months. He’s crawling, hoisting himself up and I think getting ready to walk. I’m still in shock he’s 10 months. Seriously, where did that year go?

I also got a Sony EReader for my birthday, and so I’ve been reading again. I had a HUGE digital TBR pile, but because of my bad eyes I can’t read them on the computer, so I’m playing catch up on that. I’ve re-read Men In Kilts by Katie MacAlister and Hold by Zannie Adams on my pink Sony. I just finished Sin in Jeans by Ciana Stone (pretty hot actually), and I’m currently reading Vivian Arend’s Granite Lake Wolf Series (forgive me if I just butchered the title I don’t have my reader here beside me at the moment). Next on the reader is Edge of the Storm by Jennifer Leeland.

I’m also going to reread Rhevenge’s story from J.R. Ward to reacquaint me with the last book in the series so I am totally prepped when I get Lover Mine, which should arrive any day.

Anyways, that’s what I’ve been up too. I have some great things coming up so stay tuned! I plan on it being a fun summer.

I was interviewed by a new author on the block, so be sure to come to her blog and leave a comment. This is an author to watch out for too. She is very sweet.

So come visit here.

Today I am packing for my retreat this weekend with Christine d’Abo, Leah Braemel, Kimber Chin, J.K. Coi and Wylie Kinson. I missed the last one because of the baby & the kids, this time nothing is stopping me. YES! I plan to get a couple shorts finished and possibly plot out some new stuff.

I’m very stoked for the freedom from the kiddos this weekend. I love them to bits, but I need a break.

Well, I’m off to pack. In the words of the evil magician from Frosty the Snowman “Busy, busy, busy.”

Have I got your attention?

Good.

I was watching this AMAZING show called SuperSizers Go Restoration. If you get a chance watch them here. SuperSizers do several time periods in British Culinary history. They eat as our ancestors have eaten before them.

You might feel a bit queasy when watching. I know I did when they were doing Regency and mowing down on Stilton Cheese with maggots and Cheddar with cheese mites. Nope. I’m NOT kidding.

One thing which really intrigued me was the omelette in Restoration times. Sue and Giles are eating their dinner and they wolf down this little egg white dish, which was flavored with TANSY. A herb with a sweet almost peppermint effervesance, but under that sweet exterior lies something more sinister.

For Tansy in large quantities is toxic! Sue found out when she had fevers and delusions, she had tansy poisoning! The most tasty dish on the Restoration menu is actually not so good for you.

Tansy (Tanacetum vulgare) is a perennial herbaceous flowering plant of the aster family that is native to temperate Europe and Asia. It has been introduced to other parts of the world and, in some areas, has become invasive. It is also known as Common Tansy, Bitter Buttons, Cow Bitter, Mugwort, or Golden Buttons.

It was an essential historical herb for the garden. In the Middle Ages it was used in large amounts to cause abortions, and then used to prevent miscarriages and induce pregnancy. It was also used as an aphrodisiac, relieve joint pain, insect repellent, relieve flatulence in Lenten cakes (Since during lent alot gassy foods were consumed), also it was used to prevent intestinal worms caused by eating fish and to prevent decay. Hmm make up your mind why don’t you?

Later it was one of the key ingredients in the making of absinthe. That probably has something to do with the hallucinations.

Tansy does contain toxic oil, which can cause toxic by-products to the liver and digestive tract when broken down.

There is no known antidote for tansy poisoning.

So beautiful, tasty, but with a not so nice after effect if you partake too much of it’s deliciousness.

Tansy, who knew.

I need some.

I thought I would share with you a cool fan vid of The Tudors. The music is obviously not Tudor style music, but it was great to watch the vid to get the feel of the dances. I do own all the seasons of The Tudors (what they’ve made so far) and I watch them as well, but it’s hard with 3 kids running around, whining about their cartoons. *Sigh*

This was a good substitute, but I need more distraction. So distract me.